I Watch Wayyyy Too Much TV

Have you ever watched a TV show and thought to yourself "Boy, I'd like to live in THAT universe?" No? Well, of course not. You're not as messed up as me. Anyway, here are my Top Ten TV Universes In Which To Live:

10. Good Times - Now wait, let me explain. I couldn't stand living in the everyday Good Times universe, a truly insipid place (as I've said in previous posts, even though Esther Rolle railed against Jimmy Walker's character, he was the only thing worth watching on that awful program, a show that should've offended the HUMAN race). No, I just want to live on the very last episode of the show, the one where every single character suddenly realized their dreams, all at the same time! Yeah, what a bastion of realism, Esther.

9. Brisco County Jr. - I have a great fondness for the old west, and this show made it as cool as it has ever been. All the cowboy trappings, but plenty of gadgets, gizmoes, glitz and goofiness. Brisco, Lord Bowler, Sheriff Aaron Viva, and on and on. Saddle up!

8. Green Acres - I'm a great fan of Paul Henning's shows, and one benefit of living in his universe is that his productions all took place in the same world (with crossovers!). Green Acres would be my second choice of places to be dropped in the Henningverse. The simple life of Hooterville, the kindness of the residents, the breaking of reality, all of it would make life grand.

7. Heroes - OK, not as "pleasant" as most of my other choices, but it would be a world with superbeings, and that's enough for me (especially since I might be one of them). And I'm sure Hiro and I would see eye to eye on the hero philosophy.

6. Freaks and Geeks - Added here mainly because I just love the damned show so much. I'd probably fit right in, too, as I was a weird mixture of freak and geek in those years. I'd go there, as long as it didn't mean I'd spend eternity in high school.

5. Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Hey, you get to watch (and riff on) cheesy movies, you get to hang out with Joel (or Mike) and the Bots, you get to sing songs and make inventions and talk to TV's Frank and...hell, what's not to like?

4. Cheers - The song is right: sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. You'd have friends, booze, pretzels, and no "very special episodes." Save me the corner stool.

3. Beverly Hillbillies - My fave of the Henningverse. The Clampetts are about as nice a bunch of folks as you'd ever want to meet. Granny would keep ya well fed, Ellie would take you swimming with her critters, Jethro would keep you entertained, and Jed would dispense his woodsy wisdom. And Mr. Drysdale is the bomb!

2. Leave It to Beaver - Mayfield is the very epitome of late 50s/early 60s America, with dances, football games, soda fountains, and just enough Eddie Haskell to keep things hopping. I wouldn't want to necessarily live in the Cleaver house (that'd be weird), but I'd sure love to be their next-door neighbors.

1. The Andy Griffith Show - Like this came as a surprise to anyone who knows me. If I die, I think I'd like Heaven to be a lot like Mayberry. Simple times, peaceful (except for the occasional escaped convict), and with a lawman like Barney Fife to keep things, well, nipped in the bud.