Four Poster Bad, Part 3

OK, let's get right into it. Today we look at some truly awful movie posters of the year 1977.

First off, we have Al Pacino in Bobby Deerfield. Y'know how I know that? Because it's all the poster says! Who designed this...Pacino's mother? I have to assume that maybe at the time Pacino was considered something of a hit with the ladies, because I can't see this poster putting asses in seats unless you find Al really, really attractive. It makes no sense, either, as the film features race car driving, terminally ill women, all sorts of stuff that'd just light up a movie poster. And yet they go with Al's big ol' mug instead. But hey, we know that the movie features Al Pacino...as Bobby Deerfield. Yup. Sure does. Al Pacino. Bobby Deerfield.



Next up is The Car, and it's a movie about...well, I think you can figure it out. Anyone notice the problem with the poster though? That's right. Not a car to be seen. Instead what we get is a big, black space right in the middle. Hey, it's the first movie poster designed with Stevie Wonder in mind! It's really kind of a shame, too, as the titular car is actually a very sweet ride: a black 1971 Lincoln Continental Mark III customized by the famous George Barris (who also designed the TV version of the Batmobile). I'm not sure exactly what happened here. Maybe there was supposed to be a car in the shot and something went wrong? Maybe the car IS in the pic, but it's soooooo dark that it's impossible to see? Maybe the poster art was accidentally left in Detroit, and someone stole the car? I dunno. Since James Brolin is the star of the flick, I like to think he turned off the car's headlights to facilitate running down Barbra Streisand...


Now we come to Exorcist II. I'm not going to go into the movie itself, since I think most of us know what a crapfest it is (supposedly Satan paid $75000 to have his name taken off the project). No, let's just stick to the poster, which is equally wretched. Do we get scenes of heads spinning, or pea soup-spitting, or cross violation, or even that creepy silhouette under the streetlight like in the original Exorcist poster? Nope. That would be crazy. What we get is the most logical choice: a big ol' headshot of Linda Blair. Hey, you geniuses in marketing, someone needs to tell you that this poster would only appeal to Rick James, and even he wouldn't take it home to mother. Ooooh, Linda Blair. Scary, huh kids? You know what's REALLY scary? That I sacrificed 103 minutes of my life watching Linda and Jimmy Van Patten in Roller Boogie...


Finally...ahem...You Light Up My Life. First, since I believe in full disclosure, I have to admit when this came out, back when I was all of thirteen, I thought Didi Conn was cute. Shut up. (This is where Lea starts speculating if it was the hair. Private joke) Anyway, where do you start with this poster? Is the image of two people walking barefoot on the beach going to have people rushing to the theaters? No, more likely it'll have them RUSHING TO THE BEACH. Hell, I look at this thing, and I immediately think of Mad TV's "Lowered Expectations" sketches. The worst part, though, is the tremendous graininess of the photo. Who snapped this shot...Abraham Zapruder? Light up my life, hell. Someone needs to light up the photoshoot!