This fella here is Troy Hickman, the mayor of Hayes, Kansas. I guess he's what I would be like had I gone into politics. I wonder what his party affiliation is. Is he a good mayor? Would I be treated like an honored guest if I went to Hayes, Kansas? The world may never know.
And what about THIS guy? Is he another Troy Hickman? I hope not. He seems pretty grim. I'm imagining him as someone working in a warehouse, and then one day he comes home and finds the missus is cheating on him with their son's school crossing guard, so he blows them both away, then swallows the barrel of the shotgun himself, but he messes it up, and lives the rest of his life with half a head...a medical miracle of sorts, if it weren't so @#$% disgusting...
And who the hell are THESE people? Are they all named Troy Hickman? Has some sort of club formed somewhere? Am I the only one who pictures these folks having a wild orgy after the office closes at 5:00pm? Come on, admit it; you're imagining each of these ladies giving some dutch door action to the two uber-studs on the left and right.
I guess when it comes down to it, the important thing to remember is that I am the one, the only, the original Troy Hickman, master of all he surveys. Amen. Hallelujah. Sweet sassy molassey.