Rave On

I was just sitting here watching The Buddy Holly Story again. Y'know, I've watched this flick literally every time it's been on one of my TV stations. I cannot begin to say how much I love it, or just how good it really is. Gary Busey never has, and probably never will, give a performance as amazing as this one (although his reality show, Life with Busey, was a pretty sublime experience, with Gary delivering such Buseyisms as " Fear is the dark room where the devil develops his negatives"). Even more to his credit, Busey does all his own singing (which helps keep the film from turning into the travesty that Great Balls of Fire was). Let's take a look at a clip. Here Buddy has just been booked to play the Apollo, where the all-black audience is hardly expecting him:




Y'know, next year will be the fiftieth anniversary of Buddy's death, which a lot of people call "the day the music died." That's a lot of B.S. though. Buddy's music is as fresh and relevant and ahead-of-its-time now than it ever was. Nobody rocks harder. Buddy's still here, and the music just goes on and on...

1971? They had movies back then?

OK, so the other day I wrote about Shoot 'Em Up, and how it evoked memories of Billy Jack, at least in terms of the "Don't be violent...smack!" mentality. Well, somehow the subject of the aforementioned halfbreed, Green Beret, kung fu fighting peacenik came up in one of my classes, and I was absolutely aghast to realize that almost no one in the room had ever even HEARD of Billy Jack!!!

This brings to mind three truths that I have learned:

(1) I am old.

(2) I really get cheesed by folks who don't have at least a fair knowledge of pop culture. You know the types; you ask them what they thought about last night's episode of Heroes, and in a Margaret Dumont accent, they say "Oh, so sorry. I don't own a television machine." Or you tell them you had a great time at the White Stripes concert the night before, and they tell you they couldn't make it because they were at a wine and cheese tasting party to celebrate Jean-Pierre Le Snoot's new composition, "L'âne Pour Un Chapeau." Even worse are the folks who don't even have the excuse of being an elitist snob; they just aren't able to remember anything that happens if it doesn't get reported on Nancy Grace or Entertainment Tonight. I just don't understand how you live in the same world as the rest of us, and don't really ABSORB something.

(3) I get even more cheesed by people who think the world began at exactly the moment they were born, and aren't concerned with anything that happened before then (because, well, NOTHING happened before then). I ran a blog entry sometime back about my students and their lack of knowledge about things like the Beatles, for instance, and the fact that a huge group of 'em basically said "Hell, I don't know, it was before my time." Well, y'know, almost EVERYTHING that has ever happened was before your time! Yeesh!

Billy Jack hit the theaters in 1971 (and did HUGE box office), which means it came out about fifteen years before my average student was born. To put that in perspective, it would like if I were completely and totally ignorant of the films of 1949, such as Sgt. York, The Third Man, The Fountainhead, Mighty Joe Young, etc. I know some of you folks are saying, "yeah, so?" To me, though, that's just a crazy notion.

I LOVE learning and knowing about stuff from the past. Hell, given my dissatisfaction with a lot of current culture, it's sometimes the most entertaining and enlightening stuff available. But when I ask the kids in my class what their ALL-TIME favorite film is, and most of the girls respond with "Legally Blond 2" and most of the guys say "300," it just makes me want to...go...well, like Billy Jack here:

Don't Hurt People...or I'll Kill Ya!

So...I watched Shoot 'Em Up today, and really enjoyed it. The action was wayyyyy over the top, and that's just fine by me. As the kind of movie that the title implies, it was Grade A bang bang stuff.

The reason I'm writing about it here, though, is because of the none-too-subtle anti-gun message we get from the plot (or what there is of one; it has something to do with a politician and bone marrow and trying to kill a baby, but that's not really important...or comprehensible, really).

Given that, I'm nominating Shoot 'Em Up for the Tom Laughlin "I...go...berserk!!!" Award for most gratuitous violence in a film espousing non-violence. This award is named, of course, for Tom's portrayal of Billy Jack, the pacifist who turns the other cheek by kicking people through windows and giving them fatal karate chops to the neck.

In the case of Clive Owen's Smith character in Shoot 'Em Up, he assaults the 2nd Amendment and assuages his own guilt (there's some plot point in there about him selling a criminal the gun that was then used to kill his own wife and son...or something) by shooting, oh, I'd guess about 100 men. Jim and Sarah Brady salute you, my good man!

Maybe next we can give Chuck Norris the "Hugs for Thugs" award...

Above is the cover for my new comic, Twilight Guardian, out from Top Cow in May, I believe. It's part of the Pilot Season voting, so I'll expect all you Hickmaniacs out there to vote, vote, vote later this year! (And bear in mind you're not limited to a single vote, so stay up nights and help the cause!).

Four Poster Bad: Part 2

OK, let's have another edition of FPB (my original idea for today's post involved me scanning all the major scars on my body, but I'm saving that one for my birthday.

Anyway, to the matter at hand...

We focus first on Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows. OK, great movie, and I'm a fan of Truffaut's work. The poster though...well, first of all "Angel faces hell bent for violence"? That sounds more like a blurb for Reform School Girl. Also, the adult man in the picture here looks like the bastard child of Nicolas Cage and the late Roy Scheider (not that it's a bad thing; it just unnerves me imagining the two of them making love, especially since Roy's death and all). Finally, a movie that's called The 400 Blows is already going to get jokes about being a porno film, so do we really have to make it worse by having the title on the movie poster getting fisted? Yeesh.













Now on to one of my all-time favorite movies, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. I've watched this movie every time it's been on television since I was about 4 years old. Just love it. This particular poster for it weirds me out , though, and for one simple reason. See Lon Chaney Jr. here as the Wolfman about to attack Lou Costello? Y'know why he's so pissed? Look carefully at what Lou's got in his hands. My god, he's neutered the Wolfman! Oh, Larry Talbot, the humanity...


Next up is Around the World in 80 Days. OK, fine film and all, but..."Michael Todd's show makes this a better world"? Criminy, and I thought George Clooney's Oscar speech about the nature of Hollywood was a self-important goonfest! "Makes the world a better place"? OK, sure, ya got your David Niven, ya got your Robert Morley, hell, you got your Noel Coward. But world-changing? Get out of the way, Bono, Cantinflas is shooting for your job!



Finally, the glory that IS Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman. OK, I have a special place in my heart for this late 50s schlockfest. It's cheesy, it's goofy, but heck, it's got a really, really big woman in it! And it's a hell of a lot more watchable than the Christopher Guest "remake" of the 90s. My main problem with the poster, though, is simply scale. Sure, a 50' woman is pretty amazing, but even more amazing is the relatively tiny city below. By my estimates, assuming the gargantuan babe is 50', the cars underneath her must be about 6' long, and the citizens must be about 23 inches from stem to stern. A fifty foot woman in a regular town is cool; a fifty foot woman in Tiny Town is just a bully.

I Watch Wayyyy Too Much TV

Have you ever watched a TV show and thought to yourself "Boy, I'd like to live in THAT universe?" No? Well, of course not. You're not as messed up as me. Anyway, here are my Top Ten TV Universes In Which To Live:

10. Good Times - Now wait, let me explain. I couldn't stand living in the everyday Good Times universe, a truly insipid place (as I've said in previous posts, even though Esther Rolle railed against Jimmy Walker's character, he was the only thing worth watching on that awful program, a show that should've offended the HUMAN race). No, I just want to live on the very last episode of the show, the one where every single character suddenly realized their dreams, all at the same time! Yeah, what a bastion of realism, Esther.

9. Brisco County Jr. - I have a great fondness for the old west, and this show made it as cool as it has ever been. All the cowboy trappings, but plenty of gadgets, gizmoes, glitz and goofiness. Brisco, Lord Bowler, Sheriff Aaron Viva, and on and on. Saddle up!

8. Green Acres - I'm a great fan of Paul Henning's shows, and one benefit of living in his universe is that his productions all took place in the same world (with crossovers!). Green Acres would be my second choice of places to be dropped in the Henningverse. The simple life of Hooterville, the kindness of the residents, the breaking of reality, all of it would make life grand.

7. Heroes - OK, not as "pleasant" as most of my other choices, but it would be a world with superbeings, and that's enough for me (especially since I might be one of them). And I'm sure Hiro and I would see eye to eye on the hero philosophy.

6. Freaks and Geeks - Added here mainly because I just love the damned show so much. I'd probably fit right in, too, as I was a weird mixture of freak and geek in those years. I'd go there, as long as it didn't mean I'd spend eternity in high school.

5. Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Hey, you get to watch (and riff on) cheesy movies, you get to hang out with Joel (or Mike) and the Bots, you get to sing songs and make inventions and talk to TV's Frank and...hell, what's not to like?

4. Cheers - The song is right: sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. You'd have friends, booze, pretzels, and no "very special episodes." Save me the corner stool.

3. Beverly Hillbillies - My fave of the Henningverse. The Clampetts are about as nice a bunch of folks as you'd ever want to meet. Granny would keep ya well fed, Ellie would take you swimming with her critters, Jethro would keep you entertained, and Jed would dispense his woodsy wisdom. And Mr. Drysdale is the bomb!

2. Leave It to Beaver - Mayfield is the very epitome of late 50s/early 60s America, with dances, football games, soda fountains, and just enough Eddie Haskell to keep things hopping. I wouldn't want to necessarily live in the Cleaver house (that'd be weird), but I'd sure love to be their next-door neighbors.

1. The Andy Griffith Show - Like this came as a surprise to anyone who knows me. If I die, I think I'd like Heaven to be a lot like Mayberry. Simple times, peaceful (except for the occasional escaped convict), and with a lawman like Barney Fife to keep things, well, nipped in the bud.

The Best Butt Ever!

Brent Butt, that is. I've grown to really enjoy Corner Gas during my trips to Vancouver, and I'm glad we're getting it in the states now. Really sharp dialogue and excellent performances all around. And any show that argues the relative elasticity of Plastic Man, Reed Richards, and Stretch Armstrong is OK by me.
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